February

Hell Of A Way To Start A Journal

Oof. Well, here is a hell of a way to start off this new journal

This morning I went out, and it was a nice time. We went to a vintage/antique shop with a coffee shop in it, and it was nice. Saw some cool stuff. I kinda want to go back to buy some stamps at some point I didn’t buy anything today.

And then this afternoon my mum had a seizure. So… Yeah it kinda went downhill quickly.
I don’t wanna talk about this too much, but she is okay now (or as okay as she can be).
But… Yeah… Hell of a day to start trying to keep a diary again lol.

Anyway, let’s hope I can actually keep this up. I’m hoping that keeping this relatively simple will help. Maybe? We’ll see lol.

Trying To Make Sense Of Feelings

I’m going to be on a social media detox for a couple of days because I’m feeling some stuff and I wanna make sure it’s like… actually how I’m feeling and not just how I’m feeling because I’m having a depressive episode.

Truth is, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the MK fandom right now? I don’t really know how I feel about my place in it either.
I dunno. I just feel… Disconnected from it at the moment. Like I still like the franchise and making content around it, I just feel a strange dissonance between myself and the wider fandom.
It’s not really anything anyone has done, like there’s no single thing that I can point to and go “this! This is why I’m not feeling the fandom right now!” I just sort of am, and it’s no ones fault.
Which is why I feel so weird about it all. It’s no one’s fault, so what exactly is the issue?

Idk. I just kind of want to do my own thing, in my own corner. Just sort of scuttle out of my cave every now and then to drop new fanfic, and then return to a life of solitude.
I think maybe the detox will do me good. It’ll help me get more perspective and figure out where I wanna go from here.

In other news, WOW THE NEW MK1 SKINS ARE UGLY HOLY SHIT! And the discovery that they seem to have for some reason put Havik’s seasonal skins in Mileena’s season is like???? Huh???? What the fuck is going on guys holy shit.
I haven’t touched the game since it came out tbh so it means very little to me.
I can’t believe we went from the Sub Zero season skins, which have some of the most beautiful skins the series has ever had (KUAI LIANG’S ESPECIALLY LIKE GOD IF I HAD A DICK IT’D BE SO FUCKING HARD!) to whatever the fuck is going on with this mess!
I just wanted a pink Kuai Liang skin NRS Can I not even get that?

Ah well. We’ll see how my detox goes and I’ll touch base later