❄️Summer Kaptilo🔥

Alright, First, let me start off by saying Happy pride! :D Shit is hard right now, and some of the attacks on the LGBTQ+ community, both by politicians and regular bigots, make it blatantly clear why we still need pride and why we need to stay together.

Anyway, onto this entry. Smiling bear emoji

So, regarding my last journal. I would be lying if I said the whole issue has been resolved and I’m A-Okay with everything now. I’m still not, to be completely honest, but tbh I am a lot more at peace with everything and not as reactionary upset anymore.
Basically, seeing posts about it doesn’t make me want to cry anymore, and I’m not beating myself up about it as much now.
It’s not 100% okay, but I am okay enough, if that makes sense lol.

I might finally be making some steps towards self employment!! Which is exciting! Smiling bear emoji I’ve been put in contact with someone who’ll be able to help me, which is great.
This is my personal goal. I don’t know how long it’ll take me, but I do know I want this so much, and I’ll do what I can to make it work!

Unfortunately my time at the farm I’ve been going to comes to an end on Friday. Frowning bear emoji I am sad about it, but there was talk about me possibly being able to do some volunteering with them, so I might check with that on Friday Smiling bear emoji
I can’t overstate how good the farm has been for my mental health and recovery. I’m still a quiet person, but god, I feel so much more confident in myself.
I just want to continue to momentum and keep getting myself out there!

I’m sort of keeping my eye on Conventions and stuff! There’s one near the end of July I’m considering attending because it’s a fairly simply train journey if I remember right (I’ve attended a Con in that particular city before, and there’s a train that goes directly there.)
My ultimate aim in terms of con attending as a guest is to get down to London again for MCM! Of course, MCM London is also my ultimate aim in terms of my self employment too! Everything boils down to that con in particular Laughing bear emoji
Basically, if I make it there, both as a guest and a seller, I’ll know all the works been worth it Smiling bear emoji

For a while I’ve suspected I might have ADHD, and I’m currently in a limbo on if I want to even bother trying to get diagnosed or not. From what I’ve heard, unless you go private, trying to get a diagnosis is a nightmare on the NHS. And unfortunately private care is expensive and I can not afford it, also I worry that due to the recent controversy with that one Journalist lying about symptoms and then being surprised he was diagnosed with ADHD, I’d be too nervous to get a diagnosis from them in case people decide it’s not real.
Idk, it’s hell to be a possibly ADHD AFAB person Frowning bear emoji
But I definitely have always struggled with my attention span and concentration, as well as display a lot of the other symptoms that tend to manifest for AFAB people.
Even my Mum looked up the symptoms and was like “yeah you might be onto something there.”

But yeah. This is a bit of a mixed bag of a journal lol.
Overall though, I’m hopeful for the future, and looking forward to seeing where life takes me Smiling bear emoji

Despite the fact this journal entry is a solemn one, I’m not as upset right now as I’m writing this, but still think talking about how I’m feeling is an important step in my journey to recovery.
I am posting here rather than say, Tumblr, because I have a level of privacy here I don’t get there and I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade or anything. I also know how Tumblr can be. Reading comprehension is practically 0 and I just know someone would take away the completely wrong message.
I can be sad about something, but have absolutely nothing but love for the people involved, y’know?

So this that said… SubScorp Week.

I made the difficult division this week to step down from my position as a mod for the event. And while I know it’s for the best, that doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking for me, y’know?
SubScorp Week was basically mine and Maagspies baby. It’s silly but this event really does mean the world to me. And it sucks that for two years in a row, I’ve had to make a hard choice regarding it.
When the topic was brought up to me, I admit I took a night to reply because I needed to really think about it and how I felt. In the end, I came to the decision that being involved in the running of the event this year was not in my best interest, and right now, I really need to start putting myself first more often.
I didn’t want to be a bitch either though and be like “oh no, no subscorp week for anyone this year”. I know the event means a lot to many people other than me. So my co-organisers from last year are going to take over.

I’m a bit of a mixed up mess regarding it all. I’m relieved, I know it’s in good hands and I don’t have to worry about it while I’m on hiatus.
On the other hand I’m so fucking sad to let it go.
The other day, when they made the announcement there would be a SubScorp week this year, I honestly thought I was going to cry. I could feel the tears building up. I feel stupid for that, because y’know, but I also realise it’s something I am passionate about that I worked hard on. Of course I’m gonna be torn up about having to let go.
Honestly, I still kinda feel like crying about it.

But, at the end of the day, I also know I have made the right decision.
I am in recovery from a very bad mental health episode, and I know I really need to avoid additional stresses right now.
SubScorp Week was fun to work on, do not get me wrong, but I don’t think people appreciate that there is a level of stress to it behind the scenes. Getting the prompts ready, making sure we have all the info out there, advertising, and that’s not even talking about all the running around on the week itself making sure you’ve managed to get everyone’s entries.
In that respect, I don’t know how effective of a mod I’d be right now. I wouldn’t want the event to suffer because of me, so that’s another reason for me to back off for now.

I am glad people are excited though, that is the main thing I think.
Knowing that something me and Mags but our hearts into is still being enjoyed and loved. It’s nice y’know.
Just… Sad I can’t be a part of it this time around.

Would I be willing to come back to the event in the future? Absolutely!
But this year just isn’t the right one for me to do it.
And, that’s okay.

Okay I’m about a week late to making this journal, I’ve admittedly been distracted by an AU I’ve been working on but hng, okay TIME FOR THOUGHTS.

So, as we suspected, M1K (I am calling it this rather than MK1 to make it easier to tell which game I’m talking about, rather than the original MK) is a timeline reset. We have a little info, like fire god Liu Kang, human Raiden (???).
I know some people were hoping it wouldn’t be a timeline reset, but I’m personally okay with it, especially since it seems they’re going in a different direction with it.
SO hype for the hint that Kitana and Mileena are going to be working together! FINALLY! My wife Mileena is looking fine Crying bear emoji

We don’t know right now if the Sub Zero in the trailer is Kuai or Bi-Han. As much as I love Bi-Han I am hoping and preying that it’s my baby boy Kuai. Or at the very least, if Sub Zero is Bi-Han, that Kuai will still make an appearance.
Regardless of which one it is, I am obsessed with the man bun ~~altho I want it so badly to be Kuai Liang for all my Kuai Liang with long hair needs.~~

Omg, so people were speculating that the game takes place in the distant past, around the time of The Great Kung Lao’s era…
Until someone on Reddit pointed out that the section with Sub Zero and Scorpion has electric lights, an electric fan and a satellite dish in the background.
I have honestly been loosing my shit over the satellite dish ever since I went to check it’s legit. I have come to the conclusion it’s probably a communications thing, but tbh it’s way funnier to think it’s a TV dish and Kuai is sat somewhere in the temple being huffy because he wants to watch his shows dammit.

I’ve been considering maybe preordering the Switch version, however, I am admittedly also very cautious of it. *Cries in PS3 MKX*
We’ll see. We get some gameplay in a few weeks, maybe we’ll get more info then.

Oh also, it’s coming out on the 19th of September, which is 5 days before my Birthday, so like, happy birthday to me I guess Laughing bear emoji

Aaaaaaaaa alright, so it’s been a good day so I thought I’d make a journal about it!

Today was farm day (it’s usually a Monday, but Bank Holiday pushed in back a day), and I’ll be honest I was a bit nervous. I went last Friday too and had an anxiety attack for no real reason (well, like, there is something I think set me off, but it had happened much earlier so idk why I had the delay).

But… Y’know, today was good.

Funny enough, we actually went to another farm, and got to look around at their garden and animals. And omfg, there were a bunch of piglets and I swear to god they were the cutest things blushing bear emoji So cute!

We did get hit by a torrential downpour of rain along with thunder and lightning, and I… I may have accidentally slipped slightly and my foot landed in a puddle right before I was supposed to go home, so had to sit in my ride home with one wet foot. Crying bear emoji RIP me. Good job my trainers are cheap ones I brought with the intent of them getting wrecked Laughing bear emoji

I’ve got a couple of days off, so I’m probs gonna spend them idk, drawing or writing or something. Maybe some more site updates! We will see Smiling bear emoji

In other news, I had a weird thought earlier and I just want to process it a bit. I made a joke about it on tumblr, but it has kinda left me going “huh?”

So, I suddenly thought about how comforting it felt that if at some point in the future I decide to walk away from the internet and the persona of “Summer Kaptilo”, because I’m not the most sociable person and most people only know my fanfics, it’s likely that no one would go looking for me.

I’d be able to just disappear, and no one would miss me really. I might be a footnote in the MK fandom, a “hey whatever happened to that Summertrap person” every now and then, but no massive search for me.

And idk, I find that comforting for some reason? Knowing I can just leave and not hurt or upset anyone really is a nice thought for me.

But… I also realised it’s a double edged sword.

Because as much as I could make the decision myself, someone could make it for me instead. I could be hit by a car and killed or hell, I could be murdered, and thus my online activity would cease. And… No one would go looking for me…

That thought… isn’t as comforting. I don’t know. I think maybe it’s more to do with me than anyone else though? Like, if I up and leave, that’s my decision. If I get murdered? Well, I don’t exactly have a choice in that, and I’d rather that someone care if that happened to me, even if it is in just a “oh I’ll miss their fanfics” kinda way.

I kinda joked that should I ever suddenly stop posting, it’s up to them to decide which one it is since it won’t matter to me as I’ll either be living my best life or dead. I don’t really know the answer to this tho, it’s a bit of a weird one.

Anyway I’ve rambled long enough about whatever the fuck I just wrote was. Peace out dudes lmao.

Ayyyy, it's a new month, and thus time for a new journal. XD Since last time, I've officially been on fic writing hiatus, and while I havn't gotten around to trying to write anything yet, I've been making nice progress of filling out ideas for my fic bingo cards which is an improvement Smiling bear emoji

But more importantly MK12 has a teaser trailer!! It's like... 12 seconds long and explains nothing! But it at the very least is good confirmation that more is definitely coming! I've seen people being disappointed in how short it was, but I feel like the teaser was planned out well before the leak, so it would have probably been a lot more hype if the leak hadn't happened Frowning bear emoji

I will admit I am... highly amused by the people over analysing it however Laughing bear emoji Legit saw on reddit someone reaching so fucking hard with things they could see in the grain of sand. Holy shit.

Regardless, I am hoping we get more info soon since we have the teaser! Trying to think what I'd like from it, I don't know really. I've been people theorise it's either another reboot (which unlike most people, I don't really mind, give me all the canon divergence lmao) or a multiverse (again, I do not mind, canon divergence blah blah blah). I've even seen some people wonder if it'll be another Armagedon type thing with all the past playable characters, and y'know what... that sounds pretty dope lmao. So long as I get someone from the 3D era i'd be happy tho. Putting my money on either Havik or Nitara, especially since Nitara has shown up a bit more recently (in Mk2021 & in Scorpion's Revenge). It feels like they were testing the waters on bringing her back.

But yeah, that's about all I have for now. I'm sure I won't be able to shut up when we get more info tho Smiling bear emoji

Ayyy, so first up, I had my blood test the other day, and the results came back with a Vitamin D deficiency. It wasn't what I expected but looking back on the last few years, it actually isn't too surprising.

So yeah, I have some tablets/suppliments I'm going to have to take for 12 weeks, so we'll see how they help Smiling bear emoji

Other than that though, I've made the decision that once my last request fic goes live (finished it today!!! just need to edit) I'm going to go on a hiatus from writing fanfic, or at the very least, from posting my fanfic. I want to see if removing the pressure of having an audience will help me enjoy writing again. Smiling bear emoji

I don't know how long I'll be taking a break but I plan to try be back before the end of the year.

For now tho, I'm just gonna chill, try and work on some drips and drabs as and when I feel like and not because I think people online will want to read it. Smiling bear emoji

That's about it, not too exciting, but hey, sometimes that's just how life is lol. I'm starting back up with doing various things so I'm sure I'll have something to ramble about.

It's been a hot minute since I wrote a journal. This isn't going to be a massive update, just a few notes lol.

As of Tuesday I'm offically done with councelling. I feel pretty good actually. I have an idea of where I want to be, and a clearer idea of how I'm going to get there. I think this is the first time I've finished councelling and gone "huh, y'know I think I'll be alright" rather than "oh god wtf do I do now". I think it's because I have other stuff lined up to help continue my recovery this time, and my counceller did mention that before I left.

I'm still waiting to have blood tests for the whole tiredness thing. It's a good fucking job this wasn't an urgent issue Laughing bear emoji Although I have visions of the Doctor getting the results back and being like "holy shit how are you alive?"

I finished the second of my requests yesterday! I'll be editing and posting it tomorrow hopefully Sweating bear emoji I kinda struggled tbh, I think Kinktober burnt me out on smut lmao.

I've been active in making layouts for my character's pages, I'm still trying to decide if I want to write them in 1st person like the good old days of Neopets that inspired me, or if I want to go 3rd person. I am leaning toward 1st person for nostalgia's sake.

Speaking of nostalgia, I rediscovered Pixel Dolling and remembered how much I used to enjoy it. So I'm giving it another go so hopefully I'll have some cute things to put on the character pages Smiling bear emoji

Like I said, not a long update. Hopefully the blood test will reveal something and I can get some answers. Will probably update then. Everything starts up for me again next week, so we'll see.

So I originally intended to update my journal earlier in the week but Sweating bear emoji Yeah. Better late than never, right? Lol So, the first and most important thing!

The con was awesome!!!

I maybe spent a bit too much money, I hated the trains and I was absolutely shattered by the end of it all. But the experience was great! Definitely weird to be back, but I had such a good time Smiling bear emoji I’m considering adding a con-swag merch section to my collections page, just so I can keep a bit of a diary of the stuff I buy from these things.

Also, surprise surprise, my paranoia was all for nothing lmao. As I should have expected tbh, but hey. Smiling bear emoji I definitely have my eyes on a few more cons.

I will say however, I saw slapped in the face by how popular Genshin Impact actually is right now lmao. Like I knew it was big, but I was not prepared for it to be at like 80% of the tables Laughing bear emoji

I did see a few Nijisanji EN cosplayers (got to very briefly speak to a Mysta cosplayer in the toilets lol), and I managed to get exactly 1 piece of Niji merch, a Vox keychain. The only other Vtuber stuff I could find was Hololive, so I’ve ended up with a couple of Gura keychains too because I wanted to at least rep someone Laughing bear emoji

No MK stuff, which isn’t surprising at all and I was expecting. I don’t think I even saw any cosplayers, theres usually at least a Sub Zero or Scorpion hanging around, sometimes a Mileena too. But there was no one Frowning bear emoji I did get some Ghosts merch which was a nice surprise tho so I can’t complain. I mean, two out of three niche fandoms is pretty good right?

I guess it’s also market research because I think there does seem to be a gap for Vtuber stuff, which I would be more than happy to fill Smiling bear emoji

Anyway, with other life stuff… Idk, theres not much to say. I’ve got a couple of weeks free for Easter, and I managed to finish one of my requests today! I need to edit it, but the fact I’ve actually been able to write is… a miracle lol.

I am also currently in the process of trying to get tests done to figure out why I’m so tired all the time. Yeah, apparently being constantly tired is in fact, not the average adult human experience, and if your other mental health symptoms ease and that hasn’t it might not be the mental illness… The more you know, huh.

But yeah, that’s about it for now. Lets see how April goes Smiling bear emoji

I'm pretty much all set to go to the con! Smiling bear emoji I am so excited and really looking forward to it, it's been a while since I spent money on fandom stuff (unless you count the Danmei I've brought but not read yet lol) and it's gonna be cool to catch up with people and find new artists to follow.

I'm pretty much prepared for everything, from various tickets, train times, a battery pack for my phone. Sweating bear emoji I am pretty much set and just have to hope I can get my ass out of bed LMAO.

If I'm being honest, I'm still a little paranoid about those views from the other day, but the views on my site have calmed down since then so I assume it was a one off. Who fuckin' knows. It definitely seems to depend on how much I update because yesterday I did like... one tiny update and the views were way down, so... Yeah.

I dunno, I'm overthinking this because that's what I do lmao.  I think it falls back onto oversharing, I'm used to talking about my con visits on my locked blue bird app account, so the general public doesn't get to see it much.

And it's weird I'm so paranoid when like, cosplayers and artists all list the con's they're going to and the days they'll be there without any second thought and yet I'm here like "if someone knows where I am going I am going to get stalked and then murdered or at least yelled at which might be worse tbh". and I know damn well some of those people do have genuine hate-mobs and they go to these things without incident, espeically the ones in America. Idk why is my brain like this except mental illness I guess.

Honestly I'm probably not interesting enough for people to spend time hating me anyway. Like I'm a Mortal Kombat Smut Fic Author, I am already aware that to most people I am incredibly cringe, but that doesn't feel enough to be hated to that degree lol. The thought has suddenly occurred to me that if I'm going to achive my goals of getting tables at cons I'm gonna have to be okay with sharing my location on certain dates but uh, I'll figure that out when I get to it, shhh...

I dunno what I'm talking about anymore lol...

Anyway.

I'm still feeling down about the fact I havn't been writing much. I wrote some small original drips the other day, and I should probably edit and post them at some point.

Idk, I just feel really... Meh about writing again. I feel bad because I have requests to work on, and I just can't bring myself to do so. Hopefully the month of April will be pretty free for me, so I'll be able to sit down and figure them out.

Until then, I suppose the only thing I can do is keep trying to tempt myself with really self indulgent things.

Oooohh, although last night I was thinking about my series "Hatefuck" and how I'm eventually going to end it. Not any time soon, I still have some nasty AF kinky shit in me yet, but I do actually have a rather dramatic finale to it in mind.  In particular, I had this idea for something in the fic. I'm not going to share because spoilers but it's actually so fucked up, and I know it'll make my readers scream "WHAT THE FUCK SUMMER?" and especially the little follow up I have in mind.

As such, it is my duty as a fanfic writer to torture my readers as much as possible, so I will absolutely be going with this idea.

I'm hoping to start adding some hints to the big finale into the series soon. Not the next fic to be released (as that's one of my requests) but ah, I'm gonna start forshadowing that something's gonna happen Smiling bear emoji Hehehehe, this series started as an excuse to write dirty fucking, and I've lulled my audience into a false sense of security.

But yeah. That's it, basically Sweating bear emoji

Next diary post will probably post-con, unless something happens in the next few days (like my writing mojo coming back to me but who are we kidding? lol).

Okay in the effort of actually trying to keep some sort of diary here... Let's talk about some stuff. This isn't really a coheirent thing, or something I think is worth making articles about because they're shorter subjects, and most of it is pretty self reflective so... Journal it is LOL.

My Attempts To Not Be A Petty Bitch And How Some People Make That Really Fucking Hard

I won't lie, 16 year old Summer was quite frankly a complete and utter troll. 16 year old Summer craved chaos and loved when people got angry at them for shipping the gay shit.

31 year old Summer is a little more chilled out, they did their time in the fandom wars and now just want to enjoy their SubScorp retirement. I try to avoid online discourse of any kind, regardless. Like I don't mind voicing my opinions in my own space but if you try and start an arguement with me, all you're gonna get is a block or the comment deleted.

But sometimes, some people make it so hard for that petty bitch not to arise. There is someone on tumblr right now who is really activating that desire in me, and I've had to block them because every time I saw them that desire came back.

Is this self improvement? Maybe. Or Maybe it's just me acknowlodging I still have these urges and that's okay so long as I don't act on them. Smiling Bear Emoji

Why Do People Hate Kids On Neocities So Badly?

As loathe as I am to admit I do have the blue bird app (private, and pretty much only used to keep up with Vtuber shit these days, so that's why it's not listed in my links), yesterday when Neocities was down I found myself searching to see the responses. As expected there was a lot of "noooooooooo" which was pre much my feelings too, so it gave me a sense of connection to these random people I've never spoken to.

But while scrolling through, I found an interesting thread about people aparently being really mean to kids on this site just learning HTML. I admit, I've not really seen it myself, but that's because I don't really look at peoples feeds and look at the content of their sites instead.

And it made me wonder, why do people hate them so much?  I think a lot of it is probably because many of them are coming from places like the blue bird app or the music note app. And yeah, ngl, those environments are toxic and this is coming from someone who avoids and doesn't use the music note app at all.

But idk, personally I smile whenever I see someone list their age as 14-16 on this site. It reminds me of when I was that age, making pages for my neopets and on freewebs. Maybe some of them are "cringe", maybe some of them do things I don't agree with in terms of web design, content or whatever. But these young people are finding happiness and freedom in something that gave me those things at that age, and that's really nice. Honestly, what they do in their own space is their business.

Don't for a second think my 18+ rating on this site means I hate kids on Neocities. I completely support kids learning coding on Neocities, but that doesn't change the fact my website is basically the horny bitch website and has a lot of links to NSFW content.  If you happen to be under 18 and reading this, know I believe you have every right to use Neocities for whatever you see fit, but please for the love of god, get off my website. I promise there's nothing that interesting here for you.

How Anxiety Feeds My Paranoia Of Things I Shouldn't Be Paranoid About.

This one is still actually kinda linked to Neocities, or at least partially. My anxiety works in a way that something that most people would see as innocuous happens but my brain somehow manages to twist it into actually being a bad thing. And once I've got it into my head that it's a bad thing, it's very hard to convince myself it isn't.

The example of this I'm going to use is my veiw count on here. Basically looking at my site traffic stats I had a MASSIVE spike in views on the 17th. And when I say massive, I mean, I went from about 30 unique views the previous day to 600 unique views on the date in question.

"Oh so you got a bunch of traffic to your site? That's a good thing tho isn't it, Summer?"

You would think so but no, anxiety brain has decided this is in fact a very bad thing, and there's actually some factors as to why. So, like I mentioned above, this site is set to 18+. This means it doesn't show up in the usual browsing options for Neocities (and it seems the special 18+ browsing page doesn't actually exist, or at least that seems to be the general consensus).

Which begs the question: Where the fuck did these views come from?

And that's where anxiety brain kicks in and sudden oh shit people are stalking me and someone's tracking me down in real life and they're going to... idk, murder me I guess?

I don't know why this is what my brain jumped to, but uh, apartently it did.

The more realisitic way of thinking of it is that on that day, I actually did a LOT of updates to the site. It's entirely possible either the 18+ browse page does exist, or some other index of sites picked up my updates which resulted in a lot of clicks. The other explanation is a rouge bot, kinda akin to the infamous kudos bot on AO3.

There's also the fact that internet stalkers tend to be... uh... kinda not very good at keeping those sorts of things a secret. There tends to be at least one person who'll flood hateful spam by means possible, and seeing as I havn't had any such thing on any of my linked social media I think it's safe to say I'm probably not being followed by a hatemob.

Still, not entirely sure where the views came from, I probably never will. My views for yesterday where in the 100's and again I updated a fair bit, so maybe it's just that the more updates you make, the more people will come and I'm just reading way too much into this entire thing.

That is... the most logical explanation anyway lol. More logical than what my anxiety says anyway.

Hmmmm, had a massive realisation I massively overshared something in my last entry. I've edited the wording, but I'm gonna be a bit more careful in the future. To be exact, I named the convention I'd be attending, and although it's a big space and I highly doubt anyone would either try or want to find me, I figured it was better to edit it out. I also didn't mention the day I'd be going which kinda does make the window a bit bigger as well, but even so.

It's weird, I've been pretty good about not oversharing too much on the internet lately. Like I have vaugely mentioned I've had problems in my personal life, but I've not explained what they are. I've made mentions to recovery and bad shit happening, but not divulged what those are.

So yeah. No more slipping up tho. Sweating Bear Emoji I'll still mention going to Con's but unless I get a table and am selling, I won't be saying where.

Anyway, from now on, the only things I'm going to overshare about, are my unhinged thoughts about Mortal Kombat, thank you good bye.

Well, I already failed the year in media thing I had going on, but that's not what this entry is about so uh... just pretend that never happened lol.

I am still working on my mental health recovery at the moment and it's taking some time but I have taken some massive steps that indicate I'm going the right way!

I've had writers block for a while now, which sucks when I have fanfic requests to complete. I was getting down and really rather resentful of my writing. But I had an epithany the other day that I don't actually hate writing or my works, and I was just burnt out. I've been writing some super self-indulgent stuff the last few days, and it's been great. I'm hoping to get my writing mojo back so I can really put my all into the requests. I hate feeling like I've let people down, and I want those to be the best work.

Also learnt of some potential new editing methods which I'm going to try and impliment soon. I'll maybe write a blog when I try them and see how they work for me Smiling Bear Emoji

But the biggest part of my recovery; I got a ticket to a convention at the end of the month!!!

Honestly I havn't been out much since lockdown lifted because I basically put my entire life on pause. It might not seem much to a lot of people, but me taking a train and getting to the con completely on my own is an absolutely massive step! I am so fucking excited, it's been far too long! Of course I'll be sure to make a journal here on how it's going!

Depression and anxiety are difficult things to contend with, but I think I'm slowly starting to get somewhere. I still feel guilty about putting myself first, but I know that if I don't take care of myself, I won't be able to care for anyone else.

Well, I don't think anyone expected MK12 to be announced through a quaterly earnings call but hey (Ed Boon is off screaming into a pillow somewhere lmao.)

I am excited, of course. I don't know where they'll be taking the story this time, but as long as it's as absolutely ridiculous as it always has been then we'll be fine. IDK why people want MK to have spotless and amazing writing, the enjoyment for me has always come from the fact it feels a lot like playing a B-Movie, but I suppose not everyone in the world has "Plan 9 From Outer Space" listed as their favourite movie of all time Laughing Bear Emoji

Hoping poor Kuai Liang will escape trailer death again this time, but I'm not holding out hope. Frowning Bear Emoji My poor baby... I'm the only one allowed to cause grevious harm to him.

Luckily MK12 won't affect my fics much, because they're all more or less canon divergent or AU's so... Bitchin' lmao.

Honestly havn't written an entry on here for so long I genuinely just wanted to write a small journal entry to fill the space lmao.

How have I been recently? Okay. I started going back to councelling back in November and it's really helped. I've also started going to a farm to do a mental well being course and that's really been helping me so much! I am also going to be looking forward into self employment, and I've been adivised on short online courses I can do to help me know where to start! That's exciting!

Honestly 2022 was not a good year for me, I put my entire life on hold and then couldn't figure out how to live what is esentially a new normal for me. But I'm getting there. It's still a long road ahead of me, but I actually have some direction.

Moving Forwards

Stepping Back

M1K Hype!

In Which Summer Squeals Over Piglets & Then Processes Some Weird Thoughts

MK12 Teaser

Sleepy Bitch Syndrome & Fanfic Hiatus Incoming

Progress

New Month And Post-Con Thoughts

Con Hype & Musing On Writing

On Not Being A Petty Bitch, Kids On Neocities & Paranoia

Oversharing & Curbing The Urge To Do So

Recovery

MK12 On The Way

Filling This Space

Journal

2023

Credits