Reddit Stories That Live Rent Free In My Head

Reddit is one of those sites that honestly is more of a mixed bag than the internet as a whole usually is.
On one hand, you have communities for pretty much every niche interest you might have.
On the other hand, you have some of the most rancid people in existence using it.

I won’t lie to you guys, I do have a soft spot for Reddit, if only because people go on there to tell the absolute most bonkers stories about their lives. It’s like a soap opera that I can enjoy from my computer screen!
Ocasionally there’s a story that really sticks out to me, between the stories of infidelity and entitled mother-in-laws there will be a post that makes me pause and go “WAIT WHAT?”
This article will be me detailing a few such posts and stories. Mostly from the subreddit r/bestofredditorupdates, because tbh I love when stories have actual updates after the initial post and I know how things end. But there will maybe posts from r/amitheasshole or r/amithedevil too.

I will be talking about all these stories as if they are 100% true, and not embellished or made up in any way. I realise that a lot of reddit stories are probably fake, someone using it as a writing exercise.
But I’ll be honest, my favourite way to engage in these stories is by going into them suspending my disbelief, and treating them as if they are completely real.
If that is going to bug you, or your going to feel the need to message me and tell me a specific story if obviously fake and I’m a moron for believing it, I would back out now and go to a different part of the website. I won’t be offended, I swear, but I will be if you send me snide messages lol.

This will be somewhat of an evolving article, new updates will be added as and when I re-find stories or find new ones.

Last Updated: 16/04/2023

Ogtha; The Love Story Of A Man And His Imaginary Cockroach Waifu

Link To BORU Thread

I like to think I’m a tolerant person. My attitude to things like self-shipping is that it isn’t for me, but it’s harmless and if it makes the person doing it happy, then it’s okay (so long as they aren’t the zealous type who gets mad if you ship their FO with another character.)
But uh… This… This one may actually be testing the limits of my tolerance.

So, I mean… How do I explain this one?
It all starts when OOP fucks up and admits to his girlfriend that every time they have sex he imagines she’s a giant cockroach. He’s had fantasies of this cockroach women, who he named Ogtha, ever since he read The Metamorphisis by Franz Kafka.
And then it basically goes downhill from there.

Like I want to say, okay he seems happy with Ogtha and he isn’t hurting anyone, except he clearly keeps fucking up and mentioning her at bad moments. Like he’s almost hurting himself with her. And IDK how to feel about that.
He’s certainly dedicated to her though, I will give him that. Ogtha is a very lucky cockroach.

Honestly tho, this post is just iconic. Like 10/10, where the fuck else could I read this story except reddit?
Every so often I find myself thinking about Ogtha and wondering how OOP is doing these days. Despite how odd I find this whole thing, I found myself actually kinda endeared to OOP, so I hope he updates us again soon. Absolutely, want him to go and live his best life.

Now if only I could find someone who loves me the way this man loves Ogtha…

That Time OOP’s Girlfriend Buried His Bean Stash In The Woods

Link To BORU Thread

Holy shit where do I even begin with this one?

Doomsday Preppers are… A thing. I can’t say I get it myself, but hey, when the Apocalypse comes, like I suspect it eventually will, and they are the ones thriving and I’m somewhere struggling to get by, I guess they’ll get the last laugh over me.
But this situation is weird even for a Doomsday Prepper thing.

So at the beginning of a certain pandemic, OOP decided to order a bunch of different canned beans.
And then, OOP’s girlfriend decides to take the beans and bury them in the woods.
Why? According to her to stop anyone else from potentially looting them.
Including OOP apparently, because the main conflict is that she refuses to tell him.

I just… I want to know what was really going through the Girlfriend’s head when she did this? Why wouldn’t she tell OOP where his beans were? Why am I so invested in this story about an OOP trying to figure out where his Girlfriend hid his bean stash?

Again, like, where else on the internet would I get a story like this?
OOP and the Girlfriend broke up in the end, the Girlfriend being the one who ended things… Because of beans… I… I do not know. Lmao.
Even worse I don’t think OOP even found his beans. So he lost his girlfriend and his beans, and then was in financial trouble from having to pay full rent rather than half.

The Iranian Yogurt Is Not The Issue Here

Link To AITA Thread

What else was I suppose to title this section other than this absolute classic line?

So, OOP’s boyfriend is a collector of yogurts, and has a wide array of different kinds from all over the world.
Girlfriend basically thinks it’s gross, because the yogurt is still full and thinks it’s a potential health hazard, and thus throws the whole collection away behind her Boyfriends back.
Which prompts Boyfriend to utter the immortal line.

TBH, this is just a very strange case of a partner not respecting their partners possessions and hobbies.
Although I do understand having the yogurt cups full was… kinda gross. I mention this in my collections section, but I myself actually collect drinks cans. However, I always drink the contents first and then wash out the can so there’s no potential health hazards.
But even so, as a fellow collector of items that once had something edible in then, I would feel as angry as the Boyfriend if my hypothetical Girlfriend threw my cans away.
The Iranian Yogurt truly is not the issue here.

Basically, no matter how weird you think someones hobbies and collections are, you should respect them enough to not throw away their belongings. Especially if you’re in a relationship with them.